What this blog is about
My life with Morgan and dealing with having a baby at 45. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you think and makes you appreciate your season in life. I’m not a writer, so I promise you that my use of the English language, punctuation and grammar will not always be correct. I ask you to take it with a grain of salt and understand that this is just my way to release some of my pent up energy and turn everyday life in to something fun and enjoyable for me and hopefully for you.
Let me start by saying I’m a mom. I have been a mom for 22 years and it is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love my kids with all my heart and I am grateful and blessed by each one of them. I wouldn’t change one moment of my life, good and bad. That being said, my life hasn’t always been easy. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve been divorced, got remarried, blended a family of teenagers and moved into a house built for 4 but needing room for 6. After all of that I thought the tough, challenging days were behind me. Boy was I wrong!
Dreams of freedom
At 44, I was having wonderful dreams of my future I was a newlywed and married to the man of my dreams. I had dreams of traveling, eating what I wanted, going on weekend trips with my husband and spending leisurely days reading and lounging around in my pj’s watching my favorite 80’s movies. My kids ages 14 and 17 and my stepkids ages 13 and 21 were mostly self suficient. After years of carpools, school events, daycare issues, mounds of laundry, dirty dishes, a messy house and living every moment for my kids, I was closing in on the moment when I would be an “empty nester.” I was excited.
Where it all began
Flashback to April Fools day 2011. The day when I jokingly sent an email to my husband of less than a year telling him I was pregnant. I was a genious and had totally freaked him out. My joke had gone off without a hitch….or had it?
At 44, with my medical history, my OB/GYN had told me just 8 or 9 months earlier that it would be virtually impossible for me to get pregnant.
My new reality
It’s April 11, 2011. I’m exhausted and not feeling good. That’s normal though for me. I’m a mom after all. I have 3 kids playing 4 sports, a full time job, a husband, house, 3 dogs and a cat to take care of. Just typing that makes me tired. Something inside tells me I think I may be starting menopause. I decide to take a pregnancy test, just to rule it out so I can confirm with the doctor that I’m not pregnant. Then comes the moment when you are looking at the third pregnancy test that continues to show positive (even when you are yelling at the stick saying “you can’t be positive!”). I look at the directions to see what could cause a false positive reading. Thank goodness, right there in the directions, it tells me menopause can do that. I rationalize with myself that MUST be the reason. Slowly, it begins to sink in. I’m pregnant and I have to tell my husband the news. I begin to panic. I think back to that day just a couple of weeks ago when I thought I was so funny. Now I’m thinking “Oh crap, I just played an April Fool’s joke saying I was pregnant and I totally freaked my husband out”. I’m going to kill him when I tell him that I really AM pregnant! My new reality is sinking in. I begin to realize that everything I had thought about my middle aged years has just changed forever. It hits me…..I’m 44 and pregnant!
Life as I knew it is over
Life is ever evolving and that is a good thing. We are constantly thrown curve balls and God waits to see if we will hit it out of the park or strike out. April 11, 2011 is a day that changed the direction of my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. 4 years later, I can’t imagine a time without my beautiful daughter Morgan. Life with her is wonderful, crazy, scary, frustrating and never dull. I hope you will enjoy our story.
Thanks for reading and I hope you come back to find out what happens!